


Migraine

by changkihyuns



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, changki rise, fuck buddies, much angst, trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6599896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changkihyuns/pseuds/changkihyuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>changkyun doesn't know where he stands</p>
            </blockquote>





	Migraine

**Author's Note:**

> im back with a new angst trash yes, i just finished writing this hours ago, do not expect and im sorry for this
> 
> this is inspired by an opm titled migraine (thus, the title) by moonstar88

Changkyun knew Kihyun and him are friends.

 

Hah. _Friends_. He never knew such simple word could make his heart broken into pieces.

 

He never knew where they stand. He tried to analyze their relationship.

 

Ever since they first met, he knew that there was something he felt for the older.

 

Except he didn't tell the latter about it.

 

The moments they had together were mostly filled with erotic moans, grunts and sinful pants. Fuck buddies. Term used by others to describe their relationship. Jooheon actually gave this title to them.

 

"Dude, man up. Tell him how you feel about him. We will never know. Maybe, he likes you back."

 

He sighed, if only it was that easy.

 

Jooheon is the only one who knows about his feelings for the older. Changkyun didn't tell him but Jooheon knew. They are friends ever since they met at the music club when they were in third grade, so he knows if Changkyun is down, hiding something, like simply reading an open book.

 

He tried showing little signals to Kihyun that he has feelings for him. He didn't know if the older was dense or he just chose not to show any recognition about Changkyun's feelings for him. Changkyun thinks that the latter choice was the reason.

 

Because he knew Kihyun likes someone.

 

And that someone is not him.

 

That someone is a person with broad shoulders, toned muscles, lean body -- everything that Changkyun didn't have. Changkyun wouldn't even ask why Kihyun liked the guy. He was actually very caring and a personality that Kihyun wants for the person he would like.

 

Sometimes, Changkyun would forget that Kihyun actually liked someone else. The way Kihyun cares for him screams attraction - in his opinion, at least.

 

Kihyun would barge in his apartment every morning to cook breakfast and wake him up on time, would take him home when he's drunk from a college party.

 

There's this one time when Kihyun brought him home to Changkyun's apartment.

 

When Kihyun gently dropped him to his bed and was about to leave to get something for him to change his clothes, he held Kihyun's wrist to stop him from going, even though it's not that strong, Kihyun stopped.

 

"Stay," he gently said, weak from having alcohol effect throughout his body, eyes slightly closed.

 

"I'm just gonna get some clothes for you-," Kihyun got cut off by Changkyun's persistence.

 

"No need, just-  you're warm. Stay."

 

A deep but comfortable silence ensued. The air was merely filled by their breaths and the sound of air conditioner. And the silence was broken first by Changkyun.

 

"Hyung, I like you so much."

 

Changkyun waited for an answer that never came, so he continued.

 

"I started liking you when we first met, when you looked at me and smiled brightly, when--"

 

"Changkyun, stop, you're drunk," Kihyun interrupted him, clearly not believing what Changkyun said just before.

 

"No, hyung, you don't understand, I like you--," Changkyun was interrupted for the second time, he didn't mind being interrupted, but he didn't like what he heard even before he finishes his statement.

 

"I have a boyfriend."

 

That was the last sentence he heard from Kihyun before he stopped coming over to cook Changkyun breakfast.

 

 

Days have passed, turned to weeks, months, years, and Changkyun was still waiting for Kihyun to barge in to his apartment like he used to.

 

"God, Changkyun, why are you so stupid?" Jooheon asked him while walking around his kitchen to find something he could cook, nothing.

 

"It has been like, what, two years and you're still waiting for him. Do you still expect him to come over when he has a boyfriend, just like what he told you?"

 

"Stop slapping the truth to my face. You're hurting me," Changkyun said monotonously, flipping through channels to find a good show to watch.

 

"If I don't slap the truth to you, would you wake up? No, of course not! You're already graduating this year, try to focus on studies rather than waiting for him to come back, which, obviously, won't happen sooner."

 

Changkyun didn't answer, trying to focus on the show, a kids' show actually, where five people would dance and sing on the stage to entertain kids.

 

"Waiting for him won't make you look like a martyr, it would just make you look stupid and pathetic."

 

This is what took Changkyun to wake up on his senses and move on.

 

 

Changkyun is sitting on the bar, gradually sipping from his drink,while thinking about his stupid boss.

 

_God, he's so irritating and demanding._

 

"Who? Your boss? Stressed from work?" A _very_ familiar voice asked.

 

He looked to his left and saw the person who he loved but broke his heart.

 

"Why do you look so surprised? Missed me? I missed you a lot--"

 

"I gotta go," he said hurriedly and drank the beverage in his glass in one gulp.

 

"Changkyun, let's talk," Kihyun held his arm and pulled him back to his sit.

 

"Kihyun, I've moved on. Please let me continue living in peace."

 

"Changkyun, look, I-"

 

"No, I don't need an explanation. We are nothing back then. We're merely friends, fuck buddies. I don't deserve an explanation because I'm nothing."

 

There are just some things that should be left unmoved in order for us to live in peace.

 

Example, for Changkyun, he decided to leave his feelings for Kihyun.

 

_I don't want to go through the same suffering again. I don't want to go back to square one._

_I hope you understand, Kihyun._

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it until here, please accept my sincere apology


End file.
